Thankful30 || Day Three: Ideas

The third thing I am thankful for is ideas. I love it when I read, hear, or see something that gives me an idea, that inspires me to do or create, to read or to write something that pulls me outside of myself. I long for that intellectual stimulation and it is so seldom that I find it.

This blog was actually created to be a place for me to do a sort of “brain dump” when I have something to work through. It hasn’t really been that, because I tend to forget that I even have it, and everyday life takes over and I get overwhelmed so easily. But also, these thoughts, these challenges for my mind are so few and far between. When I come across one it’s like a treasure and I want to cherish it and polish it and really get everything I can from it.

On Friday (November 3) I was reading for a class I’m currently taking, about culturally aware curriculum and instruction, and I came across this fantastic metaphor for culture:  a tree. It resonated with me because I am obsessed with trees, but it also began to awaken something in me that has been dormant for a few years – thinking about the “culture of Autism” and how I experience that. It is something I have been processing for a long time, deep down and sometimes in the front of my mind, and I want to explore it further. Stay tuned….

Thankful30 || Day Two: Bible Study

The second thing I am thankful for this month is the Bible study I attend at my church (Trinity Baptist) on Thursday nights. It is a college group, but I am still welcome there, and I have really enjoyed it! Pastor Dan leads the discussion most nights, and cooks dinner; there is always leftover food that is sent home with whomever wants some, which is also nice, and always delicious. And the discussion is often interesting and relevant.

When I started attending last year, it was because the study was centered on a book by Timothy Keller called The Reason for God. I had listened to several of Keller’s podcasts and was interested in reading the book, so I asked if I could join the study. It turns out it’s not strictly limited to college students [smile]. This year we are reading a book called The Mind of Christ by T.W. Hunt. It’s not as interesting as I had hoped it would be, but I am still enjoying the discussion and fellowship of the group.

I am very thankful to have a place to go and study the Bible, as well as to practice being social, and get myself out of my apartment for something other than just going to work. And I am looking forward to the next study, whatever it happens to be, which will start in the new year!

Thankful30 || Day One: Seasons

Yesterday brought the first of November and with it a reminder that the season of Thanksgiving is upon us once more. So I have decided, once again, to attempt to write about something I am thankful for each day. Of course, I already missed the first day, and almost missed this second, but I here I am to catch up.

The first thing I am thankful for is the seasons. I love that I live in the Inland Northwest where we have four distinct seasons each year. Right now Autumn is waning and Winter is quickly approaching – a heard a rumor that snow is expected tomorrow! I love this time of year, when the days are pleasant and cool, the leaves turn colors and fall from the trees, and I am blessed to work with students who aren’t ashamed to jump into a leaf pile and make “angels”!

I also think about the seasons of life, and find that I am thankful for those as well. Right now my life seems to be in a bit of a Winter, a time of stress and ill health, of searching for respect and appreciation, a way to use my gifts and fulfill some greater purpose. It is a season of struggle to be sure, but I am in the midst of it knowing that I am not alone; God always has a Spring, a rebirth, a new beginning waiting for me on the other side and I am so looking forward to this one!

Thankful for Words

Last year I made a futile attempt to record some things I was thankful for as the season of giving thanks approached. I was a bit late in getting started, so I wrote about ten things on the 12th in my post 10 Things I'm Thankful For (Vol. 1) – which now seems a bit silly since there was no volume two.

Well this year I’m only three days late. Actually, since I’m posting day, I’ve only missed two days, so I can catch up faster.

Looking back on Day One I realized that I’m thankful for words. The written kind more so than spoken, though I can honestly say I’m making forward progress in the area of verbal communication in a social context, and I still love public speaking. Either way, words are definitely one of my autistic perseverations. This comes to mind when I think of the first of November because, as I wrote about last year, this is National Novel Writer’s Month (NaNoWriMo to those of us in the know). The goal is to write 50,000 words between the 1st and 30th of the month; so far I haven’t written any. I did look at my novel today, though, which is really like the first step.

One thing about words that really frustrates me (and there aren't many) is when they get stuck in my head. I don’t mean not being able to think of something to say, or even those moments when it’s “right on the tip of my tongue” (which, by the way, is such an odd expression; I really need to explore it’s origin). No, I’m referring to something that I believe happens often to those of us on the spectrum. I don’t know if there’s a word for it – something else to research I suppose – but there are times when I literally can’t speak. The words are there, sometimes I feel like I’m screaming them inside my head, but they just won’t come out.

There really isn’t any way I’ve found to explain this so it doesn’t sound crazy or stupid and most people who hear or read it understand. So I’m not going to try. I will leave it as I said it and not think about whether or not you understood me just right unless you happen to bring it up in conversation.

I would like to write about one thing I’m thankful for each day this month, and it would be great if you wanted to join me, or even just leave a comment about what you happen to be thankful for on that day. It doesn’t have to be anything detailed. It’s nice to share thankfulness!

10 Things I’m Thankful For (vol. 1)

It’s been encouraging and amusing to read about the many thanks of my friends and family on Facebook this year. Here are my first ten, in no particular order:

1. I am thankful to be a Princess, a Daughter of the King of Kings. I know and love a living God who ardently seeks a daily, personal love relationship with His Children. He is the only One who is always there when I need advice, or want to share a special story (or random ramble), and always forgives my mess.

2. I am thankful to be blessed with the gift of writing. Weaving stories and creating worlds parallel to my own brings me peace and joy. Having writers’ block has also been an interesting blessing, prompting me to find new and more creative ways of exploring those worlds. I hope one day to share them with all of you.

3. I am thankful for this apartment where I’ve been living for almost two years. It has a large living room and two great bedrooms. The price is very affordable, and I feel safe and warm sitting here writing while our first real snow of the season is piling up outside the window behind me.

4. I am thankful for Dusty (my car), and the freedom she affords me to get up and go whenever and wherever I feel the urge or have the need. Although this is a small town, and walking isn’t unreasonable or unsafe, it’s much more convenient (and less stressful!) to just get in my car and drive.

5. I am thankful for the great new job I have this school year at Franklin Elementary School. The Staff have been welcoming and encouraging, and the kids are such a fun blessing to work with every day! And if I’m totally honest with myself, I can say that I am thankful even for the hard days, as I know we are making a difference.

6. I am thankful to be able to buy groceries and prepare meals for myself. I don’t often feel up to the task, especially since I live alone and don’t have to make anything for anyone else, but when I do cook something it fills me up in more ways than just a happy stomach – my heart is filled as well, knowing I can provide.

7. I am thankful for Oliver, my special teddy bear, my constant companion; I sleep with him every night, holding him tight, knowing that I’m safe. He goes with me to new places and situations that are unfamiliar and unnerving. He helps me stay grounded – and he’s so perfectly huggable!

8. I am thankful for my family and all of the encouragement they send my way. Watching them grow and start families of their own is a great picture of the loving design God has for our lives. I can’t wait to see the amazing stories of their lives unfold as we pass the years together.

9. I am thankful for my closest friends. To be honest, I am blessed to have two kinds of family in my life:  those that are connected by marriages and births, and those that are connected by choice. This special kind of family has helped me stay afloat and eventually make it out of the cave; now we can enjoy the sun together!

10. I am thankful for the gift of creativity. Being able to make art that will delight and touch others is also healing for me. I find it relaxing to make something out of a random mix of materials, to smear paint, glue, and pretty paper onto a canvas and create something beautiful. This is one more way I feel closer to the heart of God.