Sunday, November 3, 2013

Thankful for Words

Last year I made a futile attempt to record some things I was thankful for as the season of giving thanks approached. I was a bit late in getting started, so I wrote about ten things on the 12th in my post 10 Things I'm Thankful For (Vol. 1) – which now seems a bit silly since there was no volume two.

Well this year I’m only three days late. Actually, since I’m posting day, I’ve only missed two days, so I can catch up faster.

Looking back on Day One I realized that I’m thankful for words. The written kind more so than spoken, though I can honestly say I’m making forward progress in the area of verbal communication in a social context, and I still love public speaking. Either way, words are definitely one of my autistic perseverations. This comes to mind when I think of the first of November because, as I wrote about last year, this is National Novel Writer’s Month (NaNoWriMo to those of us in the know). The goal is to write 50,000 words between the 1st and 30th of the month; so far I haven’t written any. I did look at my novel today, though, which is really like the first step.

One thing about words that really frustrates me (and there aren't many) is when they get stuck in my head. I don’t mean not being able to think of something to say, or even those moments when it’s “right on the tip of my tongue” (which, by the way, is such an odd expression; I really need to explore it’s origin). No, I’m referring to something that I believe happens often to those of us on the spectrum. I don’t know if there’s a word for it – something else to research I suppose – but there are times when I literally can’t speak. The words are there, sometimes I feel like I’m screaming them inside my head, but they just won’t come out.

There really isn’t any way I’ve found to explain this so it doesn’t sound crazy or stupid and most people who hear or read it understand. So I’m not going to try. I will leave it as I said it and not think about whether or not you understood me just right unless you happen to bring it up in conversation.

I would like to write about one thing I’m thankful for each day this month, and it would be great if you wanted to join me, or even just leave a comment about what you happen to be thankful for on that day. It doesn’t have to be anything detailed. It’s nice to share thankfulness!