Falling

“Your life isn’t falling apart, it’s falling into place.” – God

I heard a song on the radio yesterday that had this line in it, though I may not have quoted it exactly. I attribute it to God because I feel like He was speaking those words directly to my heart at that moment. There have been many times when it seemed my life was starting to fall apart, or to unravel, that my forward progress was slipping away as I slid back into whatever I had come from, or maybe into something else entirely but just as unwelcome. Now I wonder if maybe it was the beginning of something good. Did I miss out because I was too blind to see it?

I’ve never seen God as vengeful or spiteful, hurting me on purpose or deciding to take back a blessing because I was too stubborn or selfish to receive it. But I do believe that we can miss out – the result of a natural consequence of sin, or of that same stubbornness or selfishness – but not because God changes His mind. We miss out on His blessings – I miss out on His blessings – because I don’t accept them. I imagine there have been times I’ve missed them completely, other times I’ve refused to open my eyes, my heart, my mind, my life to what He’s doing in and around me until much later. I find myself thinking about “when” this or that will happen, making plans and dreaming dreams. What if the “when” is really “now” and I’m too wrapped up in my sinfulness to see it?

There are probably many little things that God wants to do in our lives that we miss and we can’t get them back; I don’t believe the big things, the important life decisions, the major miracles and blessings, are the same way. I believe that since God knows the plans He has for me, to prosper me, to give me hope and a future, He will continue to open doors. If I close them, as soon as I turn around or take a step in a different direction, He will open another, or a window perhaps. He will never give up on me, never leave or forsake me. And the more I surrender my own selfish desires and plans to Him, the more blessings I will receive. I want to make a conscious effort to keep my mind and heart focused on Him, so that when I feel like I’m falling again, I can smile and say, “My life isn’t falling apart, it’s falling into place.”