Friday, April 6, 2012

The View From the Bench

Everyone should have a special place they can go to when they need to think, process, let go, just be alone with God. A place that reminds them of something or someone they want to remember. Every time I move I try to find one of these, sometimes more than one; this time, the place kind of found me.

There’s a trail that goes through Pullman; it’s paved, wide enough for three or four people to walk next to each other, great for biking. When I moved up here I didn’t have a car, and I would walk from my apartment to the North end of town sometimes, in the spring and last summer, and I found this trail. I love it. When my little sister came to visit last May we walked on it a few times. And we found a bench. I had stopped there before a few times, but it was different with her.

The first time we walked by it, I sat down and took a picture of what was in front of me. “This is the view from the bench,” I said. She liked that idea. It became a special place for us, something we could refer to in conversation that would bring up a good memory – a beautiful day, good company – and no one else knew what it was. She was only here for a week, then I took her back to where she had been living. She was supposed to move back here to live with me.

Well, things got crazy last summer and now I can’t even talk to her. I went back to the bench in July and took another photo, sent it to her on my phone, the view from the bench in summer. October is the last time I saw her, and didn’t get to talk to her again until almost March. That’s when I went to the bench again, to take another photo, the view in winter. I had stayed away because I missed her too much. Away too long, cause here’s what I found:
The City of Pullman, in it’s (I'm sure) “infinite wisdom,” removed the bench. My special place no longer exists. So today, when I had a conversation with someone I love, someone I trusted, a conversation that made me hurt inside, I wanted to go somewhere to be alone and process. I wanted to see a view from the bench….but it’s gone. I don’t know what will happen with this relationship, but I do know that God is always there, no matter what, even when I have nowhere to sit.

1 comment:

  1. Love you, Mellena! I am sorry that you ever felt this way. It's horrible to feel hurt like that. We love you!!